Tell me what you want, tell me what you really, really want!

 This is a prime skill that a coach needs to master in order to start a client in a direction that the client  has chosen, with measurable criteria that the client wants, in goals that are clearly written down using words that are uniquely the clients.

Most of my professional practice and methodology in this area comes from a group of five eminent English philosophers.  I call this skill "The Spice Girl Question"

The Spice Girls had it right.  I mean, how many time in your life has anyone done anything except tell you what you should do or what they think you should do. No-one ever asks you what you really, really want.

Imagine you walking down the street and suddenly the incredible Spice Girls jump out demanding: "Tell me what you want, tell me what you really, really want!" - I mean - you probably would freeze wouldn't you?

So when a "Coach" comes up and asks you what you really, really want - and it's in an environment where you feel relaxed and ready to deal with a question like that , you would open up and say something that is unusually brilliant and appropriate to who you really are and where you are really going.

- So how do you develop this skill of extracting what people really, really want?

You get it by listening to what inspires them, what fascinates them and what is highly valued by them.

Parents can so easily miss this with their kids because they assume they know what's best for their kids - it blinds them to hearing anything their child wants.

Teachers can so easily miss this with their students because they get lost in the demands of pushing students successfully through the curriculum and they are blinded to each student's unique goals, needs and talents.

Bosses can so easily miss this with their staff because they have a fixed idea of how they think the job needs to be accomplished and they are blinded to the talents and ideas latent in their staff.

The funny thing about Parents, Teachers and Bosses is that the majority of these people have lost sight of what they really, really want.

The ironic thing about Parents, Teacher and Bosses who learn to coach their kids, students and staff, is that they become much, much more effective parents, teachers and bosses.

And if you want to be a brilliant coach for anyone and help them articulate what they really, really want, you need to have experienced a coach extract from you, what you really, really want.

So, tell me what you want - tell me what you want, tell me what you really, really want!

This is only the beginning. Get to know clarity. Email me, Mike Kennedy...